Sigh...

These last 2 months have been something of a clumsy version to a circus act. I am starring as the tight rope walker, balance caught off guard, struggling not to fall, and fighting an internal conflict of knowing the fall is inevitable.
I can easily rationalize the irrationality that perfection doesn't exist, and would be fine with mere greatness. But how on earth does one juggle being a "great" mother, a "great" wife, a "great" boss, a "great" business owner, a "great" daughter, friend, niece, granddaughter, etc?
And with that being said, when does one find time, even if for a mere hour a week, for pampering one's self?
You always hear of "postpartum" being a stage of depression that an estimated 90% of mothers experience, though I must argue, really, I believe the hormonal change is far more drastic when breast feeding ceases to be part of daily life. I have a hard time thinking straight, organizing my thoughts, much less my day, and the smallest unexpected change up in plans sends me to near tears.
What the EFF is going on here!!!!!?????
My conflict, well here it is...
If I am doing something for me, taking a quite bath, having a cold beer with a friend, writing in my blog as I am doing now, I am simultaneously feeling guilty, as I know that, in order to be taking that time for me, I am stealing time away from Juan, from Claudio, from the obligations that keep piling up with my business and my home. But, as I silently forge forward with my roles and duties, which I take a great love in doing, I begin to feel left out, a tad bit resentful even, thinking to my self, "when is it my turn?"
Please tell me this is completely normal and that this tight rope walker will gracefully find her balance!

On a completely different subject, I have been taking tons and tons of photos lately, must be something about the change in seasons, crisp cool breeze turning green to yellow leaves, leaves me inspired. Here are a few of my favorites.

Watching Finding Nemo...

My two men...

Long distance love too long!

Oh my good goddess!! I can not believe how quickly time moves, how many things there are to do in a day, how the seasons change from one to another and routines stay the same.
Since our arrival back to Rosario, I have been nonstop on the go. My business, it seems, has exploded! I am not complaining of course, I have waited for this day for years now, but I must say, it clearly caught me off my guard. I suppose I always assumed it would be more of a steady increase in growth, rather than a steep power jump.
So, we currently have students here from Israel, England, Canada, and Germany, with more on their way from Brazil, and Switzerland.
All of this while juggling the "mother's work is never done" and a few English classes on the side has led me to having ignored now for months things that are far more important to me. Yes, you!

Recap.
Juan is so unstoppable now, he is quite like a cross between the tasmanian devil and the cheeky sweet precious moments kind of kid that melts your heart with his open mouthed smile and ability to manipulate you into smiling right along with him. I can't for the life of me think of who me most reminds me of. (hehe)
He runs from one end of the house to the other. On any given occasion I find him attempting to sneak up the stairs, slyly looking around to make sure I do not see him, or perhaps that I do see him as it is obviously a cry for the constant attention he demands.
He has 8 teeth in total now, 4 up top and 4 down low and has, almost overnight, become a picky eater. He wants nothing more than bread, yogurt, and milk. (of course cookies make him do a little dance which is quite cute)
And the newest facet to his personality is that he wants to do everything I am doing, talk on the phone, touch the computer, clean the house...here is a little video that is to die for.


Claudio on the other hand is just the same as always, even keel Clau Clau, doesn't change much in his structure and stability. He is happy and loves life and tears up almost daily when Juan runs towards him with open arms.

Here are some photos that melt my heart and I am sure they will do the same for you. We spent the day in the park, and I have never seen a kid more excited about rocks and leaves.

The cutest thing ever!

While we were in Vegas, as some of you may recall, a very close friend from my childhood made a 4 hour drive to visit us in Vegas. We had lunch, we met for dinner and then, she drove 4 hours back to Yucca Valley.
She was not the only one to go out of her way to see us while we were in the states. My sister booked a flight to San Francisco, my friend Keri, 7 months pregnant, flew in from Seattle, Molly arrived from a 4 hours drive to join us for brunch, Chuck also drove in from San Luis Obispo, just to have lunch with us. This is what true friendship is all about. Going out of your way, just because.
So, getting back on track from my sentimental tangent, Bri, my childhood friend and I were pregos together clear across the globe and just a few months after I gave birth to Juan, she gave light to Lucy. So, not only was it eventful for her and I to see each other after so many years, but for our children to meet for the first time.
here is what happened.

It was love at first site! He kissed her...

He followed her every move...

And though he was sad to see her go, he was happy because he knew he would see her again!

Thank You Cards.

I can't believe it is already the beginning of March and the worst part is I still have not managed to find time to go to the central post office down town to mail you all your thank you cards!
Cross your fingers that they make it there sometime before next Christmas!
So, in the meantime I thought it only appropriate to remind you all how very grateful we are to have you in our lives and to have been able to spend time with you this holiday season.
I also want to take the time to apologize for not making it more of a priority to send the snail mail cards that are hand written, an increasingly loosing art, (and now I know why!)
Here are a few new photos of the little Mr. in a desperate hope to manipulate you all into forgiveness!

River Bound!

So, since we have been home, we have had quite a few changes, one is that Claudio got a raise and a promotion with the company he has worked for for the last 19 years. He is now, not only the manager and vendor for his branch, but also the traveling sales representative. This means a bit more responsibility but comes with a brand new car! Not only this, but we can travel as a family to visit his clients which means...you got it...ROADTRIPPING!!!
A few Saturdays ago we went on our first adventure, visiting small "if you blink you might miss it" towns, if you can call them that. And then, after a hard day's work, we went to the river.
It was Juan's first time having experienced the silty water of the Parana, though there was no doubt about the fact that he would love it seeing as how I fight to get him out of both the hose and the shower/bath daily.

Here are a few priceless photos and a video for your enjoyment!

A letter from Mom

In Juan's baby book there was a page where I could write a letter to him, supposedly before he was born or just after he was born but I never felt inclined to write. You see, I think, in order to write a profoundly felt letter to someone, you have to know them. While I have always felt a great connection with Juan on several levels, his personality was merely peeking through the haze of baby mannerisms. A few days before he turned one, I opened his book and decided it was time to write. Here is what I wrote:

Dear Juan,
In just a few days you will be turning 1 year old. I can hardly believe time has sped by so quickly. You are the little boy that I had always dreamed of having by my side; smart, beautiful, loving, and more. Each day my love for you grows exponentially as I watch you discover the world around you with innocence and adoration in your eyes. Daily I am amazed at your purity and your ability to absorb the ways of this world, allowing the novelties to fascinate you for hours on end. I promise to always procure the magic that lies within you, to never impede it's creativity, and to inspire you as much as you inspire me.
Love always,
Your mommy.

Juani Turns 1!

February 7th, 2011, Juan Nicolas Pellegrino arrived at the ripe age of 1 year! Because his birthday landed on a Monday, we did absolutely nothing on that special day. However, the Saturday that followed, Saturaday the 12th, to be exact, we "threw the house out of the window!" A phrase, that in Argentina, means roughly, "went all out!" I, of course had been working on the decorations for nearly 3 weeks prior to the big day, invitations were hand made, flags and pin the tail on the donkey, a sort of photo booth adorned with props for the picking, hand sewn safari animals for souvenir gifts, a train cake, tons and tons of food, ie: mini spinach tarts, crab dip crostini, beef empanadas, cookies, oh I could go on and on, but more than all of this was an exorbitant amount of love.
He got so many toys I don't know what to do with them all! All of this and he still insists on playing with the trash and drain pipe. He is definitely my kid!
Here are a few of my favorite shots!
Enjoy!