Sigh...

These last 2 months have been something of a clumsy version to a circus act. I am starring as the tight rope walker, balance caught off guard, struggling not to fall, and fighting an internal conflict of knowing the fall is inevitable.
I can easily rationalize the irrationality that perfection doesn't exist, and would be fine with mere greatness. But how on earth does one juggle being a "great" mother, a "great" wife, a "great" boss, a "great" business owner, a "great" daughter, friend, niece, granddaughter, etc?
And with that being said, when does one find time, even if for a mere hour a week, for pampering one's self?
You always hear of "postpartum" being a stage of depression that an estimated 90% of mothers experience, though I must argue, really, I believe the hormonal change is far more drastic when breast feeding ceases to be part of daily life. I have a hard time thinking straight, organizing my thoughts, much less my day, and the smallest unexpected change up in plans sends me to near tears.
What the EFF is going on here!!!!!?????
My conflict, well here it is...
If I am doing something for me, taking a quite bath, having a cold beer with a friend, writing in my blog as I am doing now, I am simultaneously feeling guilty, as I know that, in order to be taking that time for me, I am stealing time away from Juan, from Claudio, from the obligations that keep piling up with my business and my home. But, as I silently forge forward with my roles and duties, which I take a great love in doing, I begin to feel left out, a tad bit resentful even, thinking to my self, "when is it my turn?"
Please tell me this is completely normal and that this tight rope walker will gracefully find her balance!

On a completely different subject, I have been taking tons and tons of photos lately, must be something about the change in seasons, crisp cool breeze turning green to yellow leaves, leaves me inspired. Here are a few of my favorites.

Watching Finding Nemo...

My two men...