Sigh...

These last 2 months have been something of a clumsy version to a circus act. I am starring as the tight rope walker, balance caught off guard, struggling not to fall, and fighting an internal conflict of knowing the fall is inevitable.
I can easily rationalize the irrationality that perfection doesn't exist, and would be fine with mere greatness. But how on earth does one juggle being a "great" mother, a "great" wife, a "great" boss, a "great" business owner, a "great" daughter, friend, niece, granddaughter, etc?
And with that being said, when does one find time, even if for a mere hour a week, for pampering one's self?
You always hear of "postpartum" being a stage of depression that an estimated 90% of mothers experience, though I must argue, really, I believe the hormonal change is far more drastic when breast feeding ceases to be part of daily life. I have a hard time thinking straight, organizing my thoughts, much less my day, and the smallest unexpected change up in plans sends me to near tears.
What the EFF is going on here!!!!!?????
My conflict, well here it is...
If I am doing something for me, taking a quite bath, having a cold beer with a friend, writing in my blog as I am doing now, I am simultaneously feeling guilty, as I know that, in order to be taking that time for me, I am stealing time away from Juan, from Claudio, from the obligations that keep piling up with my business and my home. But, as I silently forge forward with my roles and duties, which I take a great love in doing, I begin to feel left out, a tad bit resentful even, thinking to my self, "when is it my turn?"
Please tell me this is completely normal and that this tight rope walker will gracefully find her balance!

On a completely different subject, I have been taking tons and tons of photos lately, must be something about the change in seasons, crisp cool breeze turning green to yellow leaves, leaves me inspired. Here are a few of my favorites.

Watching Finding Nemo...

My two men...

Long distance love too long!

Oh my good goddess!! I can not believe how quickly time moves, how many things there are to do in a day, how the seasons change from one to another and routines stay the same.
Since our arrival back to Rosario, I have been nonstop on the go. My business, it seems, has exploded! I am not complaining of course, I have waited for this day for years now, but I must say, it clearly caught me off my guard. I suppose I always assumed it would be more of a steady increase in growth, rather than a steep power jump.
So, we currently have students here from Israel, England, Canada, and Germany, with more on their way from Brazil, and Switzerland.
All of this while juggling the "mother's work is never done" and a few English classes on the side has led me to having ignored now for months things that are far more important to me. Yes, you!

Recap.
Juan is so unstoppable now, he is quite like a cross between the tasmanian devil and the cheeky sweet precious moments kind of kid that melts your heart with his open mouthed smile and ability to manipulate you into smiling right along with him. I can't for the life of me think of who me most reminds me of. (hehe)
He runs from one end of the house to the other. On any given occasion I find him attempting to sneak up the stairs, slyly looking around to make sure I do not see him, or perhaps that I do see him as it is obviously a cry for the constant attention he demands.
He has 8 teeth in total now, 4 up top and 4 down low and has, almost overnight, become a picky eater. He wants nothing more than bread, yogurt, and milk. (of course cookies make him do a little dance which is quite cute)
And the newest facet to his personality is that he wants to do everything I am doing, talk on the phone, touch the computer, clean the house...here is a little video that is to die for.


Claudio on the other hand is just the same as always, even keel Clau Clau, doesn't change much in his structure and stability. He is happy and loves life and tears up almost daily when Juan runs towards him with open arms.

Here are some photos that melt my heart and I am sure they will do the same for you. We spent the day in the park, and I have never seen a kid more excited about rocks and leaves.